Passages to Heaven
We went as instructed to fetch Dollars, yesterday. I am of course allowed in the bank, even though I must admit to causing a certain amount of chaos. Persons like to fuss me and I like persons making a fuss of me, this makes talking to the cashier at the counter nigh impossible she says. Managing her handbag, money and me is a recipe for; well you can imagine. At one stage the whole place was in hysterics. I have been banned from the bank; she says I show her up. I show her up? I think that is a rotund bloomer, she showed me up in fact by dropping her purse. It was not me that caused chaos, I am a victim of circumstance.
On the whole, the trip to town was a large disappointment. I have a favourite place that I like to visit. If we have been to Burghley, to the park, (another most favourite place of mine,) we will come to it by a road under an arch. If it is Saturday and I have him with me, she slopes off to M&S or wherever, and I lead him through several small passageways off the main thoroughfare, we make a turn left, into a square. Firstly we come to a cafe; the heavenly smell of bacon sandwiches wafts towards us, we walk on by reluctantly, I know he would like to buy one. How would she ever know? Then tucked in the corner is heaven; here we buy my supplies of tripe sticks, pigs ears, black puddings and sausages. I peruse the new stocks; round rubber balls, rubber rings, soft toys. I am always made very welcome and given treats, encouraged to taste any of the new varieties. Yesterday I tried every available way to get to heaven, but I was resisted and crossly told to behave. (I did not however have to endure ‘the forces of hell being unleashed against me’ like one poor unfortunate you will note). ‘It’s shut.’ she kept saying. Shut, how could it be shut? I was in town. I felt like literally exploding (no I was not literally anything, this random use of literally as an intensifier, has to be discouraged it is too common for words; and incorrect grammar I understand).
Nice and frosty this morning, so we need to be quick off up the footpath, while the ground is still solid. Although the sun has yet to appear I feel today will be a fine day.
I am of course
La Grande Sophie.